Feeling Free
by swishflick
Summary: In that last moment of life, he looked into the eyes he'd fallen in love with.


It was as if Severus Snape had Apparated. But he knew he couldn't have, because he'd just died, hadn't he? He'd told that boy to look at him back in the Shrieking Shack. Harry Potter's eyes were what he wanted to see most in his last living moment, and he had. Those startling, beautiful green eyes that the boy had inherited from his dead mother.

The mother who he loved once and loved still. Yes, Severus Snape was in love with a muggle-born. No, he never said "mudblood" anymore because he knew Lily would be angry with him up in heaven, or wherever she was.

"Severus?" an unsure, vaguely familiar voice asked him. Severus whipped around, his long black robes turning gracefully with him. _Speak of the devil,_ he thought, but he didn't really think Lily Evans was a devil.

"Lily Evans?" he whispered, wanting to make sure he wasn't imagining anything.

"Potter." She told him with a small smile.

"What?"

"Lily Potter." She explained, and his heart sunk. _Of course, _he thought, _she's still married to that prick. She still loves him. He's had 17 more years with her than I have._ The jealousy speared him like a dagger.

"Welcome, Sev," She told him kindly.

"To where?" he asked her stiffly.

"Well, it depends. Sometimes this place is different. I think we're at King's Cross right now. You just hop on the train and it takes you," she said, pointing to the train behind him. Why hadn't he noticed it before? "It's lucky you and Remus came to the same place. James was worried we'd have a lot of places to get to. He's terribly scared of losing me. Still hasn't forgiven himself for dying first…" a single tear fell from her emerald eye and Severus wanted to rush over and give her a hug. Instead, he took a few steps closer to her. She was sitting on a bench, much like the ones at King's Cross, and he couldn't remember when it had appeared there, only that he was sure she wasn't sitting on it when he'd first seen her.

"Don't cry, Lily," he said quietly and she managed another one of her small smiles.

"I forgave you, you know," she told him, and the sinking feeling he'd had instantly disappeared.

"You have?" he asked her and she nodded wildly.

"You're a brave man, Sev. You deserve someone who'll love you back. I know you don't want to hear it, but please, don't try to come between James and me. Please, Sev?" she whispered to him as a few more tears fell from her eyes.

"I'd never do anything to hurt you, Lily. Not again," he reassured her. "So," he began after a moment of silence, "What did you say about Lupin?"

"Oh, it's such a shame!" Lily exclaimed, on the verge of hysteria again, "He's just had Teddy, and him and Tonks both! It's horrible! It's worse than me and James had! Teddy's not even a year old, Severus! Why _them_, Sev? They don't deserve it. They were only trying to help Harry!"

"You mean he's dead, too?" Lily nodded and looked beyond him. He turned his head to look at where she was looking and was a bit surprised at the scene. Remus Lupin looked years younger, seventeen at most, and his hair was considerably more colored, his face was less gaunt, and the scratches that adorned his aged living body were small and considerably less frequent. Welcoming their best friend with teary hugs and laughs were teenage Sirius Black and James Potter.

"Is everybody here?" Severus asked Lily, still watching three of the four Marauders embracing.

"Not Peter," Lily said his name as if it were filth in her mouth, "He went south to the hell hole, but most of the rest of us are up here. I've met Fred Weasley." Lily said matter-of-factly and Severus knew she was smiling.

"How did you like him?" He asked, turning back to face her. It was painful to watch James Potter so happy and it reminded him of Harry Potter.

"Oh, he was funny," Lily laughed. "James, however, was giddy with joy. He and Sirius were ecstatic and going on and on about how bloody proud they were of him a George. I was proud, too. He didn't seem that put out about dying. Just kept saying he was happy the rest of his family and Harry and Hermione were safe."

"How do you know what's going on back there so well?" Severus asked her in amazement.

"There wasn't much to do up here after the first few years of exploring. I couldn't stand watching Harry at Petunia's. She was horrible to him. You know how she is and everything, Sev. But then he got into Hogwarts and James and I just couldn't stop watching him. It's as if we were there but couldn't talk to him. He saw us in the Mirror of Erised, you know." She told him.

"Lily!" James Potter called to his wife across the station.

"Yes?"

"It's the stone. Harry's calling us. All of us." James told her seriously.

"All of us?" Severus asked him in amazement.

"Well, not you exactly, Severus," he said looking uncomfortable, "But I wanted to thank you. And to apologize. Harry means everything to us and I'm so glad you did all that for Lily and him. Thank you." Severus nodded and glanced quickly at Sirius Black. He was looking everywhere but at Severus, and Severus smirked slightly.

"We'll be back soon, Sev," Lily reassured him before fading with James, Sirius and Remus in tow.

It was quiet and empty on the platform. He looked around, but didn't see much that he hadn't yet seen. There was a scarlet engine on railroad tracks that smoothly disappeared into fog a little way down. There was the bench Lily had been sitting on, his wand on the ground and ankle-high fog everywhere. Everything else was white. White, white and more white surrounded him and he felt small for a few moments. He sat on the bench and watched the smoke float up from the train for a few long minutes before he heard voices.

"Lily, hush sweetheart. Harry will be fine, you know that. He's a strong, generous, wonderful young man. Flower, darling, it's alright. You know Harry will be perfectly fine, and he'll come back to Ginny and finally get back with her because Potter men always have a thing for red heads." James Potter's voice was soothing a crying Lily, his arms wrapped securely around her as he held her close. Severus, against his better thinking, began thinking about how perfect they looked together. There was the height difference that was immediately evident. James Potter was a tall man and Lily was considerably shorter, but their bodies fit together very well. Then there was the strong yet beautiful contrast of his messy, jet black hair to her smooth and silky long, auburn curls. His well-built muscular body to the small, delicate feminine figure of hers. They contrasted each other beautifully and it drove Severus mad, but he had promised Lily to never meddle with their relationship again. He would love Lily like a sister, he told himself.

"What happened?" He asked hesitantly as he stood up.

"Oh, Severus, it's horrible!" Lily sobbed into James's shirt.

"We should get going," James told him, "Albus told us this would be happening. You must know all about it, Severus. Harry has to die soon and he's walking into the forest right now. He can't see us here."

"Where _is_ Albus?" Severus questioned Remus as they all walked towards the train.

"I have no idea. I just got here, as well. Tonks has already left with her father. She and Sirius greeted each other loudly, I told her to go with her father, and she left on the train, but it didn't go anywhere really. I don't know how it works." Remus explained.

The group walked on the train and sat down in one of the first compartments, James still holding a sobbing Lily to his chest and soothing her. James was whispering in Lily's ear and Severus heard a giggle at one point, but he turned away.

"Harry's here," Sirius said quietly after a few minutes.

"Why isn't the train leaving?" James hissed.

"Harry? Sirius, let me go see him. Let me see my son," Lily sobbed, but Sirius shook his head and grabbed Lily's shoulders.

"Lily, you know Albus told us we couldn't. He'll see you and then he won't want to leave. He'll want to stay here with his parents and the rest of us. We can't let him do that!" Sirius told her calmly.

"Well, if he wants to stay, we should let him stay!" Lily cried.

"Lily, you know that's selfish of us. He has a mission to finish back at Hogwarts. He needs to kill Voldemort; he needs to see his friends. He needs to be there for everyone. He needs to save the wizarding world. He needs to go back to Ginny and have little Potter babies. Flower, we can't do that to him, no matter how much we want to," James told her, rubbing her arm as he talked.

"Let me at least watch him through the window," Lily begged, and Severus could tell James was giving in.

"Oh, alright, but don't you dare let him see you, Lily! We can't jeopardize this."

"Oh, look, James! Albus is here! And what is that wretched baby doing out there?"

The four friends talked while they watched Harry Potter, and Severus Snape simply watched them. He knew what had happened was past, and his love for Lily would eventually have to turn to the kind of love he'd give to a sister. He knew he was a free man and he knew he'd be talking to Dumbledore when he arrived and for the first time, he did not hate Harry Potter for being James Potter's son.

For the first time, Severus Snape felt free.


End file.
